First post nerves…

First Post Nerves
First post nerves… So, this is my first official post. I keep telling myself to breath as I type, knowing as soon I press ‘publish’ my very personal thoughts and feeling are out there to be criticised and judged. I’m scared but excited at the same time.
I love to read and I’ve tried to write bits and pieces before (not that I’m any good), mainly fiction, but none of it has come anywhere near to completion, never mind published! I’ve not even shared anything with anyone I know to see if it’s any good. Honestly, the thought of putting something out there that I’ve created absolutely terrifies me.
But I keep telling myself it’s now or never. If I don’t do it now, it will always be something I will look back on and wish I had had the balls to do. Wish I would have just gone for it. Even if it’s bad then at least I could say I tried.
And what message would that give my child? Do I really want to be that mum who allows her fears to get the better of her? No, I want to be the mum she can look up to. I want her to know she can achieve anything she puts her mind to.
I want to be the best influence I can be. That’s why I need to push past my fears and just get on with it already!

 

So, here goes nothing… A little about me and the reason for this babbling blog –

I’m (ahem) 31 years young and my partner and I have been together for 12ish years. I know, you get less for murder! We have a lovely home together, which is still a work in progress but it’s ours. 
Our house is always hectic. We have people coming and going all the time. We like to try and help people out when we can. Not like in a philanthropic way but just give them a roof for the night, a meal in their belly’s or just an ear when no one else is listening. We call them our waifs and strays but really, they’ve all become a part of our family over the years and life wouldn’t be right without them.  

 

Another thing that kept me going was my amazing partner, who acted as my pillar throughout the whole process.
He was my alarm clock for my injections, making sure I hadn’t forgotten one (not that I could have if I tried) and helping me through those first terrifying self-administered shots as I hadn’t had to do anything like this before.
He helped me change all my negative thoughts to positive ones with reassurances that if it didn’t work, we would try again. And if it still didn’t work then we would look at other options.
He kept my chin up even during times of me being a total mess of tears and hormones. (Believe me, there were a lot of those times). 
Looking back, I can totally see why a lot of relationships don’t survive the emotional roller-coaster. I’m sure my other half would agree. 

 

Family of two to a family of six…

That being said we now have a family of six, with the addition of my niece who we also care for full time. At 14, you would expect an extremely hormonal, back chatting wannabe adult, but no, quite the opposite. Considering the circumstances that lead her to living with us – her Aunty & Uncle (me and the other half) and her Cousin (our little monster & her little sister), she has every reason to be that back chatting, angry teenager. She is a pleasure to be around (most of the time). We also have a weird dog who thinks he’s a cat, and a very dominant cat who made the dog think he’s a cat. See, weird!

 

So, I think I have blabbed on enough for one post so… My hope is that you read this blog and find it honest, humorous and relatable in some way.

 

I would love to hear your stories too, so feel free to share by commenting!

Let’s all be clueless together!

 

Wow… you wouldn’t believe the amount of times I have gone back into this post to tweak and then re-tweak. I hope pressing the damn ‘publish’ button gets easier!!
Okay this is the last tweak…. Okay, go….

 

x

 

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