A Promise to my Teenager. I talk about my kids all the time on my blog. What books they like, the activities we’ve done and places we’ve been, when they might have been a pain in the arse. What i don’t really talk about is that my teen is not actually “mine” in the same way as the toddler is mine.
My Teenager is actually my niece. My sister’s child, who made the 250 mile move to come and live with us four years ago. Long before the toddler was around.
The circumstances surrounding her move were complicated. I would love to agree with the thoughts of others and say her move was purely for the benefits of her education and opportunities she would otherwise not have had. But, I’m afraid there is much more to it than that.
For the sake of not airing dirty laundry in public and to protect the privacy of everyone involved, i won’t be going into those circumstances. What i will go into, is the promises i make to this amazing young lady who has been through far too much in such a time.
My promise to you my Girl
I know we now have a nearly 2-year-old little monster in our lives but i promise you, her arrival only made my love for you even stronger. I want to give you all the things you never had but should have had. I want you to feel loved unconditionally. Because you really are.
We both know you’ll have a lot of challenges to work through as you get older, I promise you we will work through them together. You will never be alone.
When you head into doing your GCSE’s like a nervous wreck, i promise i will tell you the results really don’t matter as long as you did your best.
When your first love breaks your heart, and it will, it happens to us all. I promise I will be there to hold you while you cry. And break the legs of whoever caused the pain of course.
When you start your driving lessons, i promise i will cheer you on and embarrass you, as i wave you off from the front garden with utter pride. I might even take you for a driving lesson myself. In a very open quiet area where there is minimal chance of damage to life and automobile, once you’ve learnt the basics of course.
I promise I will do my best to guide and support you in any way I can for as long as you need me. And even when you think you don’t need me, I will still be there, just in case.
When you go in search for the answers to the questions you’ve had burning away in your heart for years, i promise i will stand beside you and support you in whatever way you need.
You have me
I know I’m not your mum biologically but if there was a way to change that i would, in a heartbeat. Your relationship with your mum might not be perfect, it might not look the same as others but that’s ok. As i always say, who wants to be like everyone else anyway? And, you have something most people don’t. You have a mum and you have me and i will protect you with a fierceness you’ve already seen. No one messes with my kids.
Full of pride
I see you thinking about your future and planning how you’ll get to the places you want to go. I see you pointing out the homeless guy to me so we can grab him a hot drink on the way out of Greggs (the bakers). I see you wanting to save your money to buy Birthday/Christmas presents for other people. And, what’s better is i see the complete joy on your face when those presents are opened. I see you thinking of others and how they might be feeling. Helping around the house because you know the toddler has been a pain in the arse and I have a tonne of work to do.
My beautiful, clever, funny girl, I see you growing and maturing every day and I’m so proud of you.
No matter what happens in life, I promise, you will always be our child, without conditions, without prejudice. Just because that’s exactly who you are, our child.