Word of the week: TIRED
So, the word of the week for me is tired. It’s Saturday morning and I’m writing this post from my bed. Mr O did the wonderful thing of getting up with our toddler to let me have a sleep in. BUT like most mums will agree, having a sleep in when you’re actually allowed to is impossible.
This week has been incredibly busy. Not because we’ve had days out or done fun stuff but because I’ve had a lot on with work. I mostly work from home and sometimes i find it hard to balance the work-home life. Someone or something has been neglected by me at some point this week. Whether it’s some of the housework, one of the kids or my own well being, i have definitely dropped a few balls.
It doesn’t help that i have a toddler that quite clearly hates me. Okay, i know she doesn’t hate me. But, when she decides it’s time to get up at 3 am on the fourth consecutive day, you really start to think she hates you.
This routine has been the same for most of the week – She will wake, stand up in her cot and cry initially. I go in and settle her down. Two minutes later, she is stood up again, this time shouting “mummy”, ” daddy”, “story”. This all seems very adorable, and at any other time of day, I’m thinking how cute and adorable my little girl is. But, for a good hour at 3 am for the fourth night running, ‘adorable’ is not the word i would choose at that moment.
If I could use two words to describe this week, Tears would definitely be the second.
Trying to use my brain for work when your feeling pretty exhausted is nigh on impossible. On top of that, knowing there’s so many things you should have done but didn’t get round to – washing, work calls that needed making, cleaning. Plus the mum guilt for not making the most of the summer holidays and getting the kids out and about. And by the end of the week, i broke and Mr O got it. And not in a good way.
So, after dragging my tired and emotional corpse through this week, on Thursday night it took one inconsequential comment from Mr O and the flood gates opened. I cried my little leg off. Exhausted and hormonal, i cried my mascara all down my face. I didn’t really have anything to be upset about but once I started, I couldn’t stop. The Dam had burst.
Mr O panicked and thought he had done something to upset me and i wish he had. At least then I could explain why I was so upset but i couldn’t. It was like all the pent up stress and worry i built up through the week at being too tired to do everything the way it was supposed to be done and not drop any of the spinning plates, came out in floods.
That and the fact that my period is in full flow probably doesn’t help. Hormones play havoc with me on a normal day, you just have to take a look at my post on PMS to know this. And they definitely had a big part to play this week.
I met a friend for coffee yesterday and pretty much offloaded my bone warily tired self onto her. This actually did the world of good and i came home feeling a lot better. It turns out her toddler hates her too and she’d had an equally shit week. It’s nice having someone who knows where I’m coming from.
Feeling much better
Although i fell asleep on the sofa last night during movie night, we are now on Saturday and my terrible, nearly two-year-old woke up only once last night. I settle her down and she stayed down, giving me a much better night sleep. This morning I’m feeling much better, especially after my ‘no sleeping’ sleep in. I’m ready to enjoy what’s left of the summer on this lovely bank holiday weekend with my friends and family. Oh, and also hoping next weeks ‘word of the week’ is not Tired.
How has your week been? Do you ever feel so tired you might drop at any moment? Or just spontaneously burst into tears? I’d love to hear all about.