Top 5 Mum Fails
As a mum, have you ever had the feeling that you’re the wrong person for the job? It usually occurs after an epic fail, on your part. And through each and everyone, your irrational mind worries that you will leave some sort of lasting damage on your child’s future. One that will require therapy to mend. Welcome to the stage – Mum guilt!
Or, maybe your just completely mental and mum guilt played you again – yep that’s probably it.
Either way, like any job, you can’t be perfect 100% of the time. There will be those occasions when things just don’t go to plan. Being the responsible parent of a toddler and a teenager I’ve certainly had my moments. Thankfully this list is not just of my own epic fails. No, the women in my life are just as good at failing as I am.
So here they are, Top 5 Mum Fails.
The time I bumped my newborn’s head on a door frame.
In fact, this actually happened on more than one occasion and on numerous door frames. I suppose it’s like wearing an oversized hat for a wedding, after a few drinks you’re going to forget how big it is and poke a number of eyes out with the thing. For me, I guess it just took a while to adapt to the extra width that came with walking around with a baby in your arms. The jury is still out on whether it left any lasting damage. Going off her current toddler attitude, I’m going to hazard a guess and say – yes it did. Karma’s a bitch.
My mum once left my sister (then a baby) in a shop and got the bus home.
So, not only was my sister left in a pushchair inside a shop, my mum completely forgot about her and headed home on the bus without her. Whoops! Halfway home she suddenly realised she was missing something (rather vital) and jumped off the bus in a panic. She ran back to the shop where luckily, my sister hadn’t been moved from the same spot and was fast asleep.
My sister (accidentally) threw my niece from her pushchair carrycot onto a concrete floor
Ok, so this one is probably not funny but looking back we can have a little giggle at my niece’s expense. I can assure you the baby was completely unharmed. But yes, my sister was pushing my young niece (then in the carrycot) out of my grandmother’s house via a couple of rather steep concrete steps. My sister, being an inexperienced new mum, tipped the pushchair a little too far forward while trying to navigate the steps and out tumbled my niece who landed on the floor (probably wondering what the hell happened). Being quite a cold day, my niece was wrapped up snug in a thick all-in-one suite which thankfully seemed to cushion her fall and prevent injury. Though no damage was done, my sister avoided using the carrycot from then on.
When it’s too late to stop her from going down that slide she’s far from ready for
Soft Play centers are great for keeping little ones entertained for hours on end. By the end of your visit, your guaranteed two things; your child will be completely exhausted from the utter chaos and will likely snooze on the car ride home. And, although you arrive with a fairly clean child, you’re guaranteed to leave with a walking germ ball. If you want to give your child’s immune system a thorough workout, just head to a soft play center.
These centers usually cater to ages ranging from around 1 year old to 6 years old. So it’s fair to say some of the areas are not suitable for younger children. When my little one headed to rather a large enclosed twisty slide – one I knew full well would probably frighten the life out of her considering she was weary of small straight slides – my heart was in my mouth. But before either of us knew what was happening she threw herself down the dark tunnel. In a matter of seconds, I had to decide whether to throw myself down the incredibly small slide after her and be “that mum” who gets stuck halfway. Or, take the longer route back through the way we came to get to my traumatised child. Put it this way, my ass was not going down that slide.
And yes, by the time I got to her, she was pretty traumatised and looked at me as if I pushed her down the damn thing.
When you lock yourself in the bathroom because you just can’t deal with one more tantrum
This is more of a recent thing for me. Toddlers are such hard work. Give me a baby waking every three hours for a feed any day compared with a tantrum-throwing toddler. There was a period of time, fairly recently, when uncontrollable tears of fury were just constant and for no apparent reason. The slightest thing would kick her off. I’m not ashamed to admit a point came when I was at my wit’s end and it was either put her in the garden like an out-of-control animal or lock myself in the downstairs loo while she bangs on the door screaming on the other side. Thankfully, things have calmed somewhat now. Although something tells me I’m being lured into a false sense of security.
So there you have it, my top 5 mum fails that will hopefully help you feel better about some of your own. Now it’s your turn to do the same for me and share your own ‘mum fail’ stories.