The Diary of a Clueless Mum #1

Hello & Welcome

Hello and welcome to the Diary of a Clueless Mum #1. Rather than a ‘here’s how to…’ or ‘8 tips on…’, I thought I would change it up a bit and start writing diary entries. They say journaling is therapeutic and I for one have certainly found it helpful to let off some steam in the past, by getting it down on paper and out of my head. And what better time to start again – being stuck at home with my kids and the Hubby!
I will warn you though – being the stuff of my internal monologue, these diary entries are likely to get quite ranty and may contain an F word or two. It wouldn’t be therapeutic otherwise, would it?
So, if you have a bit of time on your hands, grab a coffee or tea (wine would do too – its never too early for wine), sit back, relax and have a read.

Enjoy X

Dear Diary,

The Diary of a Clueless Mum
Photo by Jess Bailey on Unsplash


Fri -17th April 2020

So, we are in the midst of the Corona Virus lockdown which means a few things: Coronavirus is still spreading like wildfire. It feels like the world has been turned upside down and given a bloody good shakeup. The NHS is drowning in patients needing care, with no let-up in sight. And social distancing is still the biggest topic of conversation on social media. Well, that and people hating on Boris Johnson as he lies in a hospital bed suffering from the virus while his pregnant missus is home self-isolating. I’m no Boris fan but come on people, give the guy a break!

On a more personal level, it also means: The kids are still at home (all the bloody time) and they’re driving me slightly potty.

Speaking of potty, I was hoping to make some progress in this area. Especially with us being confined to our home. But no, although she’s happy to pee upon the throne, my child still demands a nappy and the privacy and comfort of her own bedroom when taking a sh*t. It’s a shame mummy can’t be granted the same luxury. Although this area is still very much a work in progress, I do have some potty training tips for you to check out. You know, if that’s the sort of reading your interest in.

I’m spending much of my time trying to figure out new ways to keep them either;- entertained, fed, happy, motivated (to do school work), from killing each other or from me killing them (not literally, obviously – if you have kids you know what I mean). All the while trying to squeeze in 5 minutes of time to myself so I don’t end up a dribbling mess, rocking in the corner of the room.  Sometimes it’s nice having them both home but other times it’s really really not.

Oh, and I officially despise food shopping. I forgot what it was like to go and do an actual fortnightly shop. Having it delivered and then just nipping in as and when we needed bread, milk and top-up on chocolate digestives, was one luxury I will never take for granted again.

Weirdness on the streets

I don’t think I will ever get used to the weirdness when I leave the house.

Everyone has become so aware of the space between each other. People walk out into the road in order to maintain the 2-meter distance rule. I too have stepped out on the road to do the same, or just crossed over altogether. Sometimes I wonder what would be worse, catching Corona Virus or getting hit by a bloody car. At least a car would be instant (too soon?).
Knowing this is something we have to do to keep ourselves and the people around us safe doesn’t stop me hating it. I just hope it won’t become the new ‘norm’ when this is all over. The thought of my kids growing up in a world where they worry about these things makes me sad. I want their first thought when they see a neighbour in the street to be of saying hi with a big warm smile and asking how they are, not worrying if they’re getting too close and making a cross with their finger while shouting “get back for the love of god”!

On the plus side, I’m learning a lot. Mainly patience & tolerance.

Week one and two f lockdown was a bit of a novelty, having the kids home for a while was fun. Week three was when the novelty wore off and as it did my patience and tolerance was at an all-time low.
The teen didn’t want to do the school work set by her teachers and produced a stinking attitude every time I told her it was time to sit down and do some work.
The toddler decided she was no longer happy to draw pretty pictures and follow the dotted lines to make shapes. She prefers to turn the house and garden upside down. There’s only so many times you can make a Den, one you know will only be used for 10 minutes before it gets left for mummy to tidy up, again. Which then means I spend evenings and much of the daytimes picking up toys, standing on toys or kicking toys. I won’t lie, I also spend a fair amount of time using the old ‘F’ word too.

No lie-in for Mum!

The Easter Weekend, being a double bank holiday meant we had the hubby home for a long weekend. Unlike some jobs, hubby manages a business that supplies to the building trade and as they’re still working, so is he. As much as I’d rather have him home and safe from any risk, a tiny part of me is secretly relieved. I’m going slightly potty having the kids home 24-7, and honestly, I’m not sure if he would be a help or a hindrance. He makes more mess than the kids do.

I can’t complain too much though, the hubby did get up with the toddler on the Saturday morning so I could sleep-in. It was great for 5 minutes and then… Crash, bang, wallop! I had no chance of a lie-in when all I can hear is banging and crashing of dishes while he makes her breakfast and his own cup of tea. Then comes the sound of her bike bell ringing all over the house as he lets her ride the damn thing around the front room. The last straw was him bringing her upstairs to get her dressed and accidentally trapping her hand in her chest of drawers. Cue the loudest startling scream you’ve ever heard from a 2-year-old. Followed by the very familiar “Mummmmmyy!”. Right, that’s me up then!

Can I hurt him now?

Sometimes, I even disturb myself with how much I want to hurt the man. Why is it when I get up with the toddler, I manage to keep the noise down and let the rest of the house sleep. Like mummy and unlike daddy, the kids like to ease their way into the morning. The toddler watches her cartoons while eating breakfast, then maybe plays with her toys for a while. Which is usually a fairly quiet activity first thing in the morning. Sometimes I will even encourage her to read a book with me in order to keep the general volume low.

When he gets up with her, it’s like effing hand grenades are getting chucked around the lounge and kitchen. And carnage, just absolute carnage!

I reluctantly and rather huffily, as you can imagine, rose from the pit to find that unsurprisingly, the child was fine. The hubby, on the other hand, was not. A few whispered F-bombs thrown his way soon had him realising why I might be pissed. And if looks could kill, he would be dead and buried under the patio!

Easter Competitiveness and sore losers.

The rest of the weekend went, actually, very well. We started Easter Sunday with a little local walk around the woods with the dog (in keeping with the lockdown rules). This was followed by us trailing after the teen and toddler as they followed the clues around the gardens looking for hidden Easter Eggs. In the afternoon we enjoyed a little competition with Easter Bonnet making.

Easter Bonnet competition

The Hubby gets very competitive and thinks he’s great at pretty much everything. So when we had our bonnets judged via Whatsapp video call to my parents, he was very disappointed when he didn’t win. He’s clearly a bit of a sore loser. Or maybe just a loser, who knows?! (I do love him, honestly. But sometimes he’s rather a pain in the ass).

On a blogging point of view, my blog has been added to the Feedspot Top200 Mom Blogs list. You will find me at no. 169. I’ve heard mixed reviews about Feedspot but there are so many great blogs listed and thought I would give it a go. So far so good!


Overall, not taking into account I didn’t manage a single lie-in, we all thoroughly enjoyed the long weekend. I think I may even have muted it being one of the best weekends we had in a while. Including taking the mick out of Hubby for being a sore loser, we had such great fun as a family. I do wonder if it would have been as enjoyable had we not been in lockdown? I honestly don’t think it would.


Twin Mummy and Daddy



My Random Musings
Musings Of A Tired Mummy

One Clueless Mum

Hi, I'm Alex, welcome to my little corner of the internet. I'm here to share my journey to motherhood and beyond. You may not find structured advice from a 'Stepford housewife' style mum, but you will get honesty & realism from a regular mum just like you. From IVF, women's health & being a redhead, to pregnancy, toddlerhood & life as a work-from-home mum, I've got it all. So stay and take a look around, you never know what you might find.

    • One Clueless Mum

      I find you have to have a sense of humour in these situations, you go crazy otherwise. Glad you enjoyed it!
      Oh and I can’t say anything about snoring, I think I’m worse than my other half. 🤭

  1. lovemaisie

    LOVE diary entry posts!! I agree that I hope our children don’t have to grow up worrying about all of this 😦 Having to avoid people in the street feels so rude and unnatural to me! Obviously I am practising social distancing to minimise the risk when I am out but still.. missing our old normal now! x

    • One Clueless Mum

      Batty is definitely a good word to describe how my kids make me feel sometimes. I wouldn’t have it any other way though.

  2. Kate on thin ice (@kateonthinice)

    Reflecting the first bit of your diary entry if written a year ago would have looked like the start of a novel. Now there is something you could do in lockdown with all that spare time you don’t have lol. I like the way you write and look forward to more diary entries. As a long-term home educator I can tell you it is not easy at all especially as they get older. You seem very self-aware which means you are one of the sane ones too but then I think I had worked that one out already. #MMBC

    • One Clueless Mum

      Haha if I had the time or the skill I might try a novel, who knows what the future might bring! Or maybe it’s just best left the professionals 😄
      Thank you for your kind comment Kate, it means a lot. X

  3. Tracey Carr

    Oh this gave me a giggle! I absolutely love the husband honesty – that is refreshing. And how I can empathise! Everytime my hubby gets up with our daughters to let me lie in I get woken up by the sound of screaming because they are killing each other over something ridiculous like a spoon or a Barbie mermaid doll and him whispering really loudly “Ssshh Mummy is sleeping…”. Oh please, as if I’m going to sleep through that. So I know exactly how you feel! #globalblogging

    • One Clueless Mum

      Haha, I’m glad you can relate. We do have to rant about these things occasionally or it would drive us completely bonkers 😄

  4. stickymudandbellylaughs

    Haha! Thanks for the laughs, I can relate to all of this! Looking forward to reading more lockdown antics. 😉 x

  5. loopyloulaura

    Love your humour and style of writing in this diary. The world is very strange right now and looking back we’ll probably forget some of the odd things that we do so a diary is a great way to document that! Thanks for linking up with #globalblogging

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